


The biggest birthday gift

by TerresDeBrume



Series: AUs without a cause [44]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-18
Updated: 2016-01-18
Packaged: 2018-05-14 18:32:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 350
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5753809
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TerresDeBrume/pseuds/TerresDeBrume
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Cause of (averted) death: needlework.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The biggest birthday gift

Tony’s life is a weird one.

 

Even if you discount the fact that he’s really disgustingly rich—which isn’t quite that weird when you’re born into it—and an Avenger, there are still plenty of things Tony lived through that would never happen to the likes of Steve Rogers or Bruce Banner, maybe not even Thor.

Case in point: this morning, Tony almost died smothered in yarn.

 

In anybody else’s mouth, the sentence would translated to ‘I opened the knitting closet and five or ten balls of yarns hit my face, possibly with the basket’. That’s a simple case of exaggerating an event to an absurd level in order to make people laugh and, quite frankly, the opposite of Tony’s usual humor.

That’s also absolutely _not_ comparable to pushing a door of your own tower too far, upsetting a small mountain of knitted yarn, and having to be literally dug out by the concerted efforts of the God of Thunder and Captain America. Tony will never look at homemade jumpers the same way ever again.

 

“Honestly,” he tells Steve after his third cup of bracing Irish-Coffee, “I don’t know what I did to deserve this. Who on earth even does this?”

“I do,” Loki says from the couch,where he’s been watching some telenovela or another for the past hour. “Jormungandr is turning ten thousands soon, and he needs a new scarf.”

 

For a moment, Tony hesitates.

Part of him wants to discuss the fact that Jormungandr is an actual living being and how it makes _zero sense_ in terms of science. Another part is having a mild freakout because if the giant snake is real then it raises _so many questions_ regarding Tony and Loki’s potential offsprings…and the last part of Tony kind of wants to yell something very rude about the logistics of storing a project of that magnitude in a residential building.

 

Somehow, the only thing that comes out is:

 

“New York is going to run out of cake batter.”

 

(Somewhere at the edge of Tony’s vision, Thor is making a valiant effort not to laugh.)


End file.
